TOO MANY CHILDREN?

I am not a writer, and as a matter of fact, English was always my worst subject in school. But this is something near and dear to me, so please hear me out...

I work for a very large company with many employees, most of whom I do not know. As I was walking in one morning shortly after Thanksgiving, I overheard two ladies talking about the needy family that had been "adopted" for Christmas by her husband's company.

She was very upset over the family that had been selected as they had "too many children" and that they should not have had that many if they couldn't take care of them.

My blood was boiling, but I bit my tongue.

She continued that she and her husband decided not to give anything this year because why should they help a family that "just didn't know when to stop". The second lady agreed.

I couldn't help myself. I turned around and, as calmly as I could, asked them what they really knew of this family. The lady who had been doing all the talking explained that there were seven kids, the oldest of which was only 10. The parents were only thirty and "obviously they started too young, instead of getting an education to provide for their family". She knew their first names, their ages, favorite colors, and items needed and wanted for Christmas. The list of wants/needs was pretty

basic -- hats, mittens, coats, a doll for little Susie, a truck for Joe,

etc., nothing extravagant at all. The "problem" was just that they had "too many children".

At that point, I introduced myself, and explained I was also in my early thirties and had "too many children". I also had seven children, and my oldest was only 8.

The women decided my situation was different since I was working and providing for my children and that they were not being "adopted by strangers for Christmas".

I then told them that most of my kids also had their names on

Christmas want lists and would very desperately love to be adopted for Christmas -- permanently adopted by a "real" family!

You see, six of my seven children are FOSTER children.

They stammered, they stuttered, they apologized, they had never thought of that. I gave them a few other possible cases as to how a family can end up with "too many children". It could be anything -- death of the parents, combined families, grandparents raising grandchildren, etc.

After hearing this, the ladies said they wished they would have done something to contribute, but it was too late as the collection had been completed and already turned in.

I knew they could see things differently now. I explained how I often got rude comments at the grocery store when I took my kids and used government vouchers (these are government subsidies for food for low income families, and are provided for kids in foster care).

Cruel comments like, "you shouldn't have so many children if you can't afford to feed them". My oldest one asked me one day after hearing this, "Mom, can we afford all of this food?" She was truly bothered by these comments (we routinely spend $300 a week in groceries, after the vouchers). I don't explain it to strangers in the store as it would only hurt the kids more, as they have all learned to dislike that f-word (foster) as this

makes them different, even a feeling of being unwanted or unloved. But many of our family and friends are teaching others not to be so quick to assume and judge.

The ladies and I continued to talk for awhile and I showed them pictures of my seven kids. We talked about the number of children in foster care, orphanages, and waiting to be adopted in the United States. It's incredible that there are so many children in need.

In some way, she was right -- the "problem" is that there are just "too many children" -- too many who need to be loved and cared for, and yes even adopted, not only for Christmas but for forever.

The following morning, when I arrived at my desk, there sat two bags of Christmas gifts for "my" kids. It's amazing how much people really do care when they really know.