To: My Loving Owner
From: Your Horse
Dear Owner,
You have been complaining to me about my bad behavior all week. I may have made a few teeny errors, but before you make any silly decisions let me explain
1. May I remind you that breakfast is to be served promptly at 7:00, NOT 7:02:26. or 7:14:34. I thought you forgot so I hollered and hollered but youu didn't hear! Your neighbors heard all right.(remember the ones who sued when I kicked that little furball of theirs ? ) They started hollering too.They even heard way down the street at the police station, cuz they came up with their lights all flashing, remember?
2. How did I know that I WAS AN IMPORTANT LEGAL DOCUMENT? I CAN'T READ! I don't think you should have yelled like that.( or was I stepping on your foot again, oops) Anyways, you managed to piece it back together. Sort of. I found that missing corner in my water bucket today.
3.And what is the deal with locking me in my stall all day? She was such a pretty little mare and I don't even REMEMBER them doing THAT to me when I was a colt.
4. Oh, and about that time when I bolted for home on our trail ride, there were LIONS in that trail. Honest-to- Goodness LIONS I tell you! I probably saved your LIFE, and instead you get all mad at me. How was it my fault that you weren't paying attention when I swerved into that pricker bush to get them off our trail?
5. Or did you mean that OTHER time I bolted for home on our trail ride? Well, I heard the grain bins rattle back home. I KNOW we were 5 miles away, but I have ESP (Extraordinary Sweetfeed Perception). 6. And that veterinarian has it in for me. He thinks I'm a furry pincushion! When I saw him coming towards me with that thing...He's getting out of the hospital in a few weeks, isn't he?
7. At that show yesterday... Well, the jumps were so high I didn't know whether you were supposed to go over or under them. So I settled for a happy medium. How's your arm feeling today?
Sincerely,
Your Wonderful Perfect Invaluable (And hungry)Horse
