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1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is effective.
7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed).
8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
Life lessons learnt from a dog
If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.
~Author Unknown
While many people believe that a camel's humps are used for water storage, they are actually made up of fat. The hump of a well-rested, well-fed camel can weigh up to eighty pounds.
